Faltering Read online

  “You know, Emma, I came here to escape a lot of things. My life back in New York is complicated—my family, my father especially. . . .” He pauses and I can hear the conflict in his voice. “I can’t make any promises right now, but . . .”

  “But what?”

  “But, I want to.” The yearning in his voice melts me and in this moment I know I can lose myself in him, forget everything. “I want to get to know you better, Emma. I’d like to say I’ll be home soon and things between us can continue. That this could turn into something real. . . .” I wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t.

  The silence hangs heavy between us.

  “You don’t have to make me promises, Alec. We agreed to just be friends, remember?” My voice catches on the last word, betraying my disappointment.

  “Yeah, I remember.” I think I hear regret in his voice. Then he pulls away, and after a couple of minutes I hear his slow, steady breathing.

  I lie, staring into the darkness, waiting for the oblivion of sleep.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The sunlight is streaming in through the thin window curtain across my pillow. I open my eyes, blinking in the light. Instinctively, I reach my hand back to touch Alec, but the bed is empty. . . . I am all alone. This seems to be a pattern with him. Low voices stream in from the other room, but not Alec’s deep, familiar tone. Where is he? Did he take off? I quickly glance around and am relieved to see his sunglasses and wallet are still on the bureau.

  Closing my eyes again, I relax back on the pillow and think about last night. There’s so much potential between us, but we’re both hesitant. I can sense there’s something he’s holding back, something painful. I’ve got a lot of painful secrets too—perhaps that’s why I’m drawn to him. There’s something in the way he looks at me that pulls me to him, makes me think we could have a deeper connection than just our physical one.

  But soon I’ll be heading home and he’ll remain here. Then what will happen? Even though we have just met, my stomach hurts at the thought of never seeing him again. Sighing, I pull myself up out of bed to get dressed. I rifle through my bag and finally settle on my favorite white shorts and a light-blue patterned blouse. I run a brush through my tangled hair and then pull it back into a loose ponytail. Slipping my feet into my flip-flops, I decide to investigate where Alec has gone.

  I open the bedroom door and step out into the hallway. No one is in sight, so I head down toward the kitchen, which is bright and cheerful. My hostess from the night before is there, busily preparing breakfast. She looks up when I enter and gives me a big smile. She says something in Arabic that I think must mean, “Come, come,” and gestures to a seat at the table. I smile and sit and she places a steaming cup of coffee in front of me, thick with frothy milk. The sight and smell of the hot beverage perks me up, and I gratefully take a sip. It is strong and aromatic. My hostess leaves me alone in the kitchen and I sit and wonder what to do next.

  Just then, the door opens and Alec strolls into the kitchen. “Good morning, beautiful,” he says.

  “Hi. I was wondering where you disappeared to.”

  “I decided I’ve had enough of public transportation,” Alec replies. “So, I’ve arranged for a private car to take us to our next stop.”

  I glance out the window and am shocked to see a brand new, shiny black SUV with a driver parked outside on the dusty street.

  “Wow, how did you manage that?” The car looks so out of place here, it’s like it magically appeared from heaven.

  “Let’s just say I have a few connections and leave it at that.”

  I raise a skeptical eyebrow, but decide not to pursue it further.

  ****

  Being in the back of plush SUV is fantastic, but I feel a slight twinge of guilt. This is not exactly the authentic travel experience I set out to have. But I can’t deny that being surrounded by soft leather and air conditioning totally rocks compared to the broken-down train. I take a deep, relaxing breath and stretch out my legs. Alec takes my hand and smiles. “Pretty nice, huh?”

  I smile back. He looks gorgeous this morning, as usual. He’s dressed in a crisp white linen shirt and loose, flax-colored cotton shorts. His dark messy hair hangs slightly over one eye. I imagine reaching out and brushing it back.

  The desert landscape whizzes by the window. The countryside is sparsely populated here, and only occasionally do we pass a lone house.

  Our driver, a big, burly guy in mirrored aviator sunglasses and a black suit, stays focused on the road. Not wanting him to overhear, I lean closer to Alec and whisper, “Where did you find this guy, and where are we headed?”

  “This is Ben, my personal driver, and we are continuing our original trip—we should be in Luxor within a few hours.” His tone is matter-of-fact.

  Surprised, I lean back. Personal driver? What the hell?

  ****

  Alec’s breath is warm against my ear. “Wake up, we’re here.”

  Disoriented, I open my eyes. I must have fallen asleep during the drive.

  The SUV has pulled up in the front of a luxurious hotel, just on the edge of Luxor.

  I scramble out of the car and my mouth falls open. “This is where we’re staying?” I exclaim. I’d pictured us at a small hotel, nothing fancy. Alec grabs our bags and comes around to stand beside me.

  “Yup, the Sofitel Winter Palace. We’ve got a suite here.” He smiles, looking very pleased with himself. “Nothing but the finest for us.” He motions for me to walk ahead.

  Wow . . . I step forward and through the arched doorway. Stepping inside is like going back in time. This place is straight out of the British colonial era. The Egypt I have come to know is brown and dusty, but here, lush bougainvillea gardens line the walkway and water burbles in fountains. The lobby is ornate, with dark woods, mosaic tiles, oriental carpets, and beautiful flowers everywhere. As Alec checks us in, I inhale the fragrant scent and gaze through the large glass windows overlooking the deep blue of the Nile. Small sail boats, or feluccas, as the Egyptians call them, sail along in the distance. It is a breathtaking view. I walk across the lobby and out onto the huge terrace overlooking the river, and lean against the wrought iron railing. The breeze is soft on my face as I look out at the town of Luxor below. I hear footsteps behind me and turn as Alec walks up, keys in hand.

  “Oh, Alec, this place is amazing, it’s perfect.” A huge smile stretches across my face and I tingle with excitement.

  “Come on, let’s go check out our room.”

  I swallow hard. We haven’t discussed our sleeping arrangements for this stop.

  We find the elevator and step in. Being alone in this confined space instantly makes the electricity between us crackle, and as our eyes meet, I can tell he feels it too. I look down at the floor, twisting my hands together.

  We enter the room and I freeze, gasping. It is a huge, luxurious suite with a terrace overlooking the Nile. “Wow, this is incredible!” Dark, exotic furnishings are dotted around the sitting area, including a comfy looking couch and chairs. I have never stayed in a place like this before.

  “You like it?” Alec smiles at me.

  “Like it? I love it!” I drop my bag on the floor and head over to the king-sized bed. “This looks like the most comfortable bed I have ever seen.” It is piled high with pillows and covered in a pure white comforter. I lie back and spread my arms out. “I’m in heaven.”

  Alec laughs. “You’re easy to please.”

  I raise one eyebrow and give him a look.

  “If you only knew what my dorm room was like, you’d understand,” I say, thinking of the small, hard, twin-sized bed and meager furnishings of the university room where I spent the semester.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  We spend the rest of the day lounging around the hotel’s huge pool, both of us tired from the long trip. Once the afternoon sun is fading away, we decide to dine in and put off exploring the town until tomorrow.

  The hotel has an old world–style bar/restaurant
and we’re both looking forward to checking it out. Alec looks devastatingly handsome tonight, having changed into a pair of dark pants and crisp white shirt.

  I’m in the bathroom getting ready when I hear him pacing, somewhat impatiently, waiting for me to come out. The door handle turns, but it’s locked.

  “Emma, everything all right in there? I’m starved.”

  The door clicks as I unlock it and slowly open the door. Alec is standing just outside and his breath hitches a little when I come out. I’ve left my hair loose and it’s falling in soft waves just past my bare shoulders. A soft, silky midnight blue dress clings to every curve. I do a little twirl.

  “You look so damn sexy I’m not sure we’re going to be able to leave this room.” His voice comes out as a growl.

  I smile shyly and then flutter my eyes at him, blatantly flirting. “You like?”

  Instead of answering, he pulls me against him and softly brushes his lips against mine. He darts his tongue against my lips, demanding entry. I yield instantly, parting my lips. He groans into my mouth and pulls me tighter against him. I feel his cock stir against my leg.

  “You are killing me, baby.”

  I laugh and push against his chest and he loosens his arms and lets me go. “Come on, I’m starving too.” I’m not sure how long either of us is going to last in this teasing game.

  I walk ahead, and Alec follows me out of the room and into the elevator. We head down and find the main restaurant. It’s elegant, with dark wood furnishings, white tablecloths, and large crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. There are a few tables filled mostly with couples and a few groups of men in suits at what look like business dinners. The waiters, dressed in crisp white uniforms, are attentive, hovering around the tables. Off to the side I spot the bar. We head over and sink into a couple of oversized chairs.

  “This place is great. So cozy.” I run my hand across the smooth wood of the table.

  “You look beautiful tonight.” Alec’s heated gaze slides over me.

  The bartender comes by for our drink order. I’m in the mood for wine, so Alec orders us a bottle of pinot noir. While he’s gone we look at our menus. I settle on a spicy chicken and vegetable stew and Alec does the same. I lean back in my oversized chair and gaze around the room. The bar is pretty empty, with just a few other tables occupied and a lone traveler perched on a stool. In the corner, a trio band is setting up.

  The waiter returns, opens the wine, and pours us each a glass. I take a slow sip and the warmth spreads in my mouth. It’s good. I swirl it around in my glass a little, looking at the deep red tone, then take another small sip. Alec is watching me, his eyes glimmering in the dim light. He’s leaned back in his chair, one arm draped across the back, the other hand on the table, absently playing with the spoon. The band starts playing, filling the room with smooth jazz tones.

  “Come on, let’s dance.” Alec stands and holds his hand out for me.

  We head over to the small dance floor. We’re the only ones dancing, and the other diners glance over at us. Alec places one arm around my waist, his hand on the small of my back, holding me close to him. He starts to move us effortlessly around the dance floor. His arm is wrapped tightly around my waist, our bodies are pressed together, his dark eyes gazing intently into mine as he guides me expertly around the floor. I lean in against his chest, the hard muscles pressing against his shirt, and breathe in his intoxicating smell.

  “Where did you learn to dance like this?” I murmur.

  “My mom made sure I was well groomed in all the social graces.” Alec’s grinning at me as we swirl across the floor in time to the music.

  “What’s your family like?”

  The smile fades from his face at my question. “My dad’s a first-class asshole, my mom’s a drunk socialite, and my twin sister is married to a bastard who treats her like shit.” His voice is suddenly cold and I’m stunned at his response. Just like that, the atmosphere of the night changes.

  “Oh, Alec, I . . .” He cuts me off before I can continue.

  “It’s fine. I just don’t feel like thinking about them right now. I’d rather concentrate on you.” His tone tells me to just drop it for now, so I don’t say anything else.

  When the song ends, we head back to our table, and are promptly served our meal. “I didn’t mean to react like that, Emma,” Alec says. “I’m sorry. It’s just, my family is kind of a difficult subject for me.”

  “I didn’t mean to pry—I’m just curious. I’d like to get to know you better.”

  “My father is very controlling. He’s always tried to force everyone around him to bend to his will. And with him, business comes first; family is a distant second. When I was young, my mom was different—she was warm, caring, fun—always there for my sister and me. But then . . . things started to change.” He takes a long sip of his wine and looks away for a minute, as if lost in a memory. “My dad was cheating on her for years and when she finally found out she was devastated. All their friends had known what was going on, but no one had ever said anything. She was humiliated. After that, she started drinking, going out all the time. My sister Ava and I were left to fend for ourselves a lot. I guess that’s one of the reasons I’m not big on commitment. I don’t want to end up being like my father.”

  “I’m sorry, Alec. That sounds pretty shitty.” I take his hand across the table.

  “Yeah, well, everyone’s got some kind of story. What about you, Emma, did you have a happy childhood?”

  I snort. “Uhmm, no, not exactly. My father took off when I was young, left my mom to raise my brother and me. We all moved in with my grandparents when I was ten and my brother was six. Lots of tension between my grandparents and my mom—they never liked my dad and didn’t want her to marry him in the first place. So she was gone a lot.”

  As we talk, it becomes clear that Alec and I actually have a lot in common. Maybe that’s why I feel so drawn to him?

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  After dinner we head up to our room, neither of us up for a late night. I take a quick shower and then throw on a T-shirt and some boy shorts.

  When I head back to the living room, Alec is out on the terrace, leaning against the railing, wearing pajama pants and nothing else. I walk up quietly and stand beside him, both of us looking out. The lights of the town are twinkling below us, following the curve of the river. Once again I’m struck by how lucky I am to be here.

  “Thanks for bringing me here, Alec.” He turns and faces me. “I’m glad I get to experience this place with you.” It’s dark out here, but I sense his eyes on my face.

  “I’ve been feeling stuck for a long time, but you make me think things could be different.” His hand finds mine, and his thumb makes small circles on the palm of my hand. “I don’t want to be friends anymore, Emma.”

  I swallow hard as our eyes lock together. “What’s going to happen when I return home?” I blurt out. It’s been on my mind all day. There’s no avoiding it: I’ve really fallen for Alec.

  He drops my hand and takes a step back. A flash of emotion crosses his face but it’s gone before I can read it. “Let’s not think about that right now, okay?”

  Neither of says anything for a few minutes but continue to look out at the city lights below.

  “I know I’m handling this all wrong.” Alec clears his throat. “I’ve always avoided thinking about the future, but this thing between us—whatever it is, or could be—is something I don’t want to let go of. I know you think I don’t really care, but that’s the problem. I care more than I should. I don’t want to screw this up.”

  “Okay, so don’t.”

  He closes his eyes and runs a hand through his hair, then smiles ruefully at me. “I really like you, Emma. But I don’t do relationships. Ever. Honestly, I’d intended for this to be a casual sex–filled week, but—” He sighs as if the admission is painful. “But, you’re different. . . . And if you knew how fucked up my situation really is, you wouldn’t want any part of
me.” He looks at me now so earnestly, with such yearning, that my heart breaks wide open and I know I’m a goner.

  I can’t help myself. I kiss him gently. “Let’s just enjoy this week and think about the future later.”

  “Are you sure?” His eyes are searching my face.

  “Yes.” And in this moment, I am. The future can wait. Right now I want to feel his kisses on my lips. His body pressed against me.

  He lifts one hand and gently strokes my face, his fingers trailing along my jaw. I close my eyes and my stomach flutters in anticipation. The tension between us is thick, and heat shoots through my body. I want to melt into him.

  His lips are gentle, just a soft, teasing brush against my bottom lip. I lean into him, wanting more. He grabs a lock of my hair, pulling me closer until I’m pressed tight against him. His mouth covers mine now and his tongue brushes my lips, looking for an entrance. I respond by opening my mouth, and his tongue sweeps in. I moan and grip his biceps. He kisses me deeper and I’m burning up, desire pooling in my belly. He runs a hand down to my waist, under my shirt, and slips under my waistband to caress my ass beneath my shorts.

  I trail my fingers up his back, stroking the hard muscles beneath his shirt. My heart is beating fast and I respond to his touch like I never have before. His kiss is calling to something deep inside me, waking up feelings I thought I’d buried. We don’t stop kissing until we have to break away, both of us panting for air.

  The heated look in his eyes has my knees buckling and I reach for him again, running my hands across his almost hairless chest. My fingers climb lower, following his happy trail down to the edge of his waistband. I can feel his excitement and I glance up into his eyes. He exhales a short breath and then dips his head down, trailing kisses down my neck to my collarbone. I arch my head back, giving him access. One hand cups my breast and I moan, pushing my hips into him. He’s rock hard against me.