Faltering Page 13

  “Let me make you something to eat and get you settled. You haven’t eaten anything all day.” He follows me into my apartment. It’s dark and quiet. Leah must be at Jake’s. She stays over there a couple of nights a week now. I haven’t told her about the accident.

  “Why don’t you go change and I’ll make you something?” Alec suggests as he heads into the kitchen.

  I’m far too drained to argue. I go into my room and take a quick shower. Then I slip on a T-shirt and some comfy sweats and head back into the living room, where I collapse onto the couch, lean my head back, and close my eyes.

  Alec comes into the room and hands me a plate of scrambled eggs and toast.

  “Thanks.” The sight of food makes my stomach rumble, despite my anxiety. I concentrate on eating, not looking at Alec. I don’t know what to say. I can’t have this conversation right now. But I need to know why he lied to me.

  Alec takes a seat on the couch next to me, but far enough away so we aren’t touching. He reaches out to brush the hair off my face. He keeps his hand on the back of my neck, caressing it lightly with his fingers. I close my eyes and sigh. His touch feels so good, so reassuring, that I just want to pretend everything is fine between us. But I can’t. The pain of his betrayal is too sharp. Plus, I know he doesn’t feel the same way about me as I do about him. How can he, if he plans on marrying someone else?

  “Alec . . .”

  “Shhh, don’t say anything right now.” He cuts me off before I can get another word out. I’m too tired to really fight anyway. “We’ll talk later. Right now, you need to sleep. You need to stay strong for your brother.” I nod my head, letting him pull me toward him. I lean against him and rest my head against his chest. Breathing him in, with his arms wrapped around me, I feel warm and safe. I never want to move from this spot.

  I must have dozed off, because when I open my eyes, Alec and I are sprawled out together on the couch. My head is still on his chest and his arms are wrapped around me, our legs tangled together. For a minute I forget everything that’s happened and I luxuriate in the feeling of being with him. Then reality hits me, hard.

  I bolt upright, jarring Alec awake in the process.

  “What happened, is everything okay?”

  “No, nothing is okay. I can’t be here with you.”

  “Emma, please, let me explain. It’s not what you think.”

  “Are you engaged?” I just want to hear him say it. Why am I torturing myself?

  “Yes, but—”

  “That’s all I need to hear.” I cut him off and pull myself away from him. Standing up, I wrap my arms around myself protectively. My throat is closing up and I feel the tears building in my eyes. I can’t deal with this right now.

  “Emma, don’t do this. Just hear me out.” He stands and walks up to me. He’s just inches from me, looking down into my face, his eyes full of pain. Why does he look like he actually cares?

  “It was never a real engagement. Just a business deal. I don’t love her.”

  Before his words can sink in and I can respond, my phone rings from the kitchen table. I rush over to answer it.

  “Hello?” My stomach tightens and I hold my breath as I wait for the news. Relief floods through me as I listen.

  Alec sees the expression change on my face as I nod my head into the phone.

  “. . . Okay, I’m on my way.” I hang up the phone and look at Alec. I grin as I tell him the good news.

  “He’s awake. He’s asking for me. He’s going to be okay.” This time, the tears in my eyes are from relief and happiness.

  “Come on, I’ll take you back to the hospital.”

  I nod, too eager to see Jonathan to protest.

  Just as I’m getting into his car, my phone buzzes again. I look down. It’s my mother.

  “Hello?” I snap. Once again, she’s left me to worry alone while she’s off somewhere, oblivious to what is going on with her own children. “He’s going to be fine. You don’t need to come now. What took you so long to call back? I told you it was an emergency!”

  I can barely stand to listen to her flimsy excuses. . . . How she was out with friends and didn’t get the messages. . . . Story of my life.

  “I’m on my way back to the hospital now. I’ll call you later.” I hang up, not waiting for her reply.

  Alec reaches over and takes my hand, “You okay?” His voice is gentle, concerned.

  “Yeah.” I sigh, suddenly feeling guilty. My feelings toward my mom are always so conflicted. I wish she were here, yet I can’t help but push her away. I need her, and I hate her. Much like how I feel about Alec, at the moment. . . .

  Soon enough, we reach the hospital. “You can just let me out, you don’t have to stay,” I say as I open the door.

  “I’m staying. We haven’t finished talking yet.” The look on his face lets me know there is no point arguing with him. I don’t really have the energy for that right now, anyway. I just want to see Jonathan.

  I enter his room quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he’s sleeping. The nurse has made Alec wait outside, saying only family can visit right now.

  Jonathan’s eyes are closed and he looks more comfortable now. They’ve removed most of the machines and tubes from him. Only a single IV and monitor remain. One side of his face is bruised and swollen; his arm and leg are in casts. He hears the door shut and his eye flutters open. The other one remains swollen shut.

  “Hey, sis,” he whispers, struggling to smile.

  “Shhh, don’t try and talk.” I reach out and take his hand. “You really scared the hell out of me, you jerk.”

  He starts to chuckle and then winces a little from the pain. The doctor said he had a couple of cracked ribs.

  “Does Mom know?” My brother still yearns for a mother who really cares.

  “Yeah, I just talked to her, told her you were going to be okay.”

  “Is she coming?”

  “Um, I’m not sure,” I mumble. I don’t want to cause him any more pain. “She said she would call you.” I hate lying to him, but I hate even more the sad yearning in his eyes.

  “Oh, okay.” He closes his eyes again, already tired out.

  “You go back to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  “Thanks, Emma.” He smiles and squeezes my hand tightly for a second.

  Once he is sleeping peacefully, I head back out to the waiting room. Alec is pacing back and forth in front of the window.

  He looks up when he sees me walk in. “How’s he doing?”

  “Better. He’s sleeping now, but I was able to talk to him for a few minutes. He seems like his normal self. Pretty banged up, though.” I sigh heavily.

  “That’s great news.” Alec walks over and tries to take my hand. I pull back, out of his reach.

  “We need to talk. There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

  “Obviously.” I can’t help the bitter tone that has crept into my voice.

  “Please, Emma, you mean so much to me. I can’t lose you.” Alec’s pleading voice softens me, and I relent a little.

  “Okay, I’ll hear you out. Start talking.” I’m not going to make this easy on him. Not after all the pain he has caused me.

  “Not here. Let’s go somewhere private, back to my hotel.”

  I shake my head. No way. Being alone with Alec is not a good idea right now. I know what will happen. I won’t be able to resist him.

  “Somewhere public. I’ll get coffee with you.”

  Alec sighs. “Fine, let’s go.” He reaches out for my hand and this time, I let him take it. There’s a little café down the street from the hospital, which is full of hospital staff catching a quick meal before their shifts. Alec finds us a booth in the back and we slide in, facing each other across the small table. We look at each other for a second, neither of us sure what to say. I break eye contact first and look at the table. My stomach is in a knot. I desperately want him to be able to explain this all away. But in my heart I know he can
’t. Can he?

  “I was planning on telling you about the engagement,” he begins, his voice low. “I never meant for you to find out like that.”

  “You mean you never meant for me to find out at all? Look, Alec, I get it. I was just a fling for you. A little diversion before you settled into your real life. My mistake for getting too involved.”

  “No, Emma, it’s not like that at all. I mean, yeah, maybe at first it was a little like that. When we first met I had no intention of getting seriously involved with you or anyone else. But things changed. You changed things for me.”

  Before I can respond, the waitress comes by to take our order. Alec orders us both coffees without looking away from me. The waitress must feel the tension between us because she gathers our menus as quickly as possible and practically runs away from the table.

  “Honestly, Alec, I don’t know what to think anymore. I’ve been burned before and I won’t let that happen again.”

  “I’m not your old boyfriend, Emma. I know he hurt you, but I would never do that to you.”

  I look at his earnest expression and want so badly to believe him. His dark hair is slightly messy and he looks tired, like he hasn’t been getting much sleep. Could he really feel the same way about me as I do about him?

  “How long have you been engaged? How did you meet your fiancé?” I’m both curious and insanely jealous.

  Alec sighs and fiddles with his napkin. “I’ve known Sydney since we were kids. Our families run in the same social circle. My parents have been planning our marriage basically forever. My father has made it a condition of my being his successor. His plan is for the two family businesses to merge into one mega company that will be able to wipe out all the other competitors in the field.”

  “Is that what you want? To take over the business?”

  Alec massages his temples and stares down at the plastic tabletop. “I thought I did. I just don’t know anymore. None of it matters to me now if I can’t have you.”

  My heart leaps at his words. He cares about me enough to give up his inheritance?

  “Alec, I’m not worth it. I don’t want you to give up everything for me.” I look down, wringing my hands together.

  Alec reaches across the table and lifts my chin up so I am forced to look directly into his eyes.

  “Yes, you are worth it. You’re worth everything to me. I’ve already told Sydney the engagement is off. I want you to come back to New York with me and meet my family. I want to show you how serious I am about you.”

  I don’t know what to say. This is not what I expected him to say at all. Sure, I’d hoped, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.

  But how can I be sure he’s trustworthy?

  Alec’s voice is strained. “The way you’re looking at me is killing me. I know I’ve fucked everything up—to think I’m the one causing you this pain—” He stops for a minute and closes his eyes. I can see how distraught he is, so when he reaches across the table and takes my hand, I don’t pull away.

  “How can I explain so you’ll understand? In just a few short months you’ve become so important to me. Losing you is not an option.”

  I look away, compulsively twisting the ring on my finger. The nervous energy between us is palpable. I’m so tired, I just want to lay my head down on the table and close my eyes. The stress of these last couple of days has taken a toll.

  “Look, I know the shit your ex pulled with you,” he continues.

  I wince, because he doesn’t know the half of it, but I don’t say anything.

  “I know you’ve got trust issues. That’s why I didn’t tell you about Sydney. I didn’t want you to think I was like him.” He sighs. “Now that’s exactly what you probably think. . . .” He trails off.

  I glance back at him for a second. He’s looking away, gazing into the distance, but then suddenly he looks back and our eyes lock.

  “Emma, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. My engagement to Sydney never seemed real to me.” He pauses, watching, waiting for my reaction.

  I look down at the table again, my long hair falling across my face in a protective shield. My fingers are busy, twisting together. I’m so conflicted right now. When I don’t say anything, he continues, “Emma, I never wanted to hurt you. I will never hurt you again.” When I look up, his face is sincere.

  “How can I know that for sure? Apologies are easy, but—”

  “You’re going to have to trust me, Emma. Trust us.”

  I swallow and nod my head slightly. I want to trust him.

  “You are all that’s important to me. My family, the business, none of those things matter to me as much as you. I called Sydney and told her it’s over. My dad, too. Please, Emma, say something.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” My voice is quiet, tired.

  “Just say you forgive me. That you understand. That you’ll give me a chance to make things right with us.”

  “Alec, I don’t know if I can. I don’t want to come between you and your future. I don’t want you to give up everything to be with me.”

  “I’m not giving up anything that matters to me. None of it is important if you are not going to be a part of my life. I’ve fallen in love with you, Emma, and I’m going to prove to you that this is real and you can trust me.” He reaches across the table and takes both of my hands in his. I don’t resist. He bends his head down and presses his mouth to my hands. Turning one over, he kisses the palm and then up my wrist. I sigh softly.

  “Alec, I, I . . . Are you sure?” A small smile lifts the corners of my mouth.

  “Oh, baby, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Come on, let’s get out of here.” He stands up and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a twenty to leave on the table. Then he grabs my hand and pulls me up next to him. I wrap my arm around his waist and lean my head against his shoulder. We walk out together and stand on the sidewalk.

  I pull away and look at him. “So, now what? Where do we go from here?”

  “Good question. We’ve got a lot to sort out, but one thing I know for sure is that wherever I’m going, I’m taking you with me.” He smiles, then leans down and kisses me full on the mouth, soft and sweet. The knot in my stomach dissolves, and I look back up at him and smile. We’re not letting each other go.

  If you enjoyed Faltering, please help me out by leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads. Thank you!

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  Book 2 in the Faltering series is due to be released May/June 2014.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Julia Danes lives in Sarasota, Florida with her husband, three children, and adorable King Charles cavalier, Oreo. When not writing, she’s busy working as a freelance editor and indexer. Right now, she’s most likely daydreaming about her next exotic vacation.